(Not-So) Clever Boy…

My apartment is coming, well, apart.  That’s a bit of an exaggeration, to be sure, but it’s closer to the truth than I’d like to think.  Sure, there’s the earthquake damage from last spring, and I painted the walls and got a brand new douche-cabin installed, but there’re a few little things that have been going wrong around here.  Luckily, clever and resourceful Raughley came up with some excellent solutions!

Problem #1- The Water Heater.

Last spring, Angela and I noticed that the hot water would shut off randomly as you were using it.  Sometimes this just meant you had to finish washing the dishes using ice cold water.  Other times you were showering.  Those times suck.

I thought the problem had subsided until it started acting up again.  Hilary and I spent a frustrated evening turning faucets on and off trying to get the heater to jump start itself.  It would make this clicking sound like it was trying so hard to light, but it never caught.  I assumed it was out of flint.

Hilary gave it a bang and the flames roared to life.  She jumped in the shower and enjoyed two or three minutes of scalding hot water before it turned to ice again.  We had a big problem on our hands.  We began washing our dishes exclusively with frigid water and taking dash-in-dash-out showers, minimizing the time we spent under the icy cascade.

I contemplated calling the landlady.  As you’ll see in Problem #2, the landlady takes a very laissez-faire attitude toward domestic problems.  She trusts the invisible hand to guide everything along.  Well not this time, lady!

I decided to go snooping around the water heater because it had been a week or so at this point.  I moved the cabinet aside and discovered a secret panel!  I twisted the latch and pulled the door down.  To my surprise, delight, and shame, I discovered that the panel housed a pair of batteries.  Yes, Batteries.  For weeks, nay, for months, we had been dealing with hot water that shut itself off and a water heater that only sometimes started.  All for lack of batteries.

So I replaced the batteries.

Problem #2- Stinky Bathroom

Show of hands.  Who has used a public restroom?  Remember that smell?  Well, sometimes my bathroom kinda smells like that.  Literally.  We’ve tried a few different solutions over the years, and they’ve met with some degree of success.  The toilet now sports a little toilet-freshener bar that aromatizes with each flush of the toilet!

But it turns out the toilet isn’t the problem.  Neither is the shower, nor the murder drain in the middle of the floor.  No, the stank lies in the sink.  I called the loveliest of landladies to let her know.  “Nino!  There’s some gross and mysterious smell in our bathroom!  What can we do?”

“Oh Raughley, lots of people have stinky bathrooms!”  She was not going to be much help.  In fact, she came by yesterday to collect her rent money and I led her to the bathroom.  Of course, of all the times to smell fresh, the sink chose the day that Nino came by to smell its freshest.

Not to fear, though!  Clever Raughley is on the case!

I was at the store buying some somethings and I found the perfect solution: Scented Toilet Paper!  My fingers are crossed that the toilet bowl freshener plus the scented toilet paper will mask the janky sink smell.  So far it seems to be working!

Problem #3- My Ceiling Light

When the lights blew out in my bedroom, I knew just the solution.  New light bulbs were in order!  After buying the wrong wattage twice, I discovered that the problem wasn’t with the bulbs but with my light!  Something was seriously rotten in the state of Denmark.

When I came home from work the other day I realized precisely what the problem was.  One of the three lamps on the chandelier (a term loosely applied in this case) and fallen from the sky, landing on my brand new laptop (but luckily just dinging its case and not actually harming it).  The wires had clearly long ago been severed by age.  Nino told me she has a new chandelier lying around at home that she’ll bring us.  All I can say is that clever Raughley is ready to stop living in darkness!

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